I heart you, Kody Brown.

Can we please talk about “Sister Wives” on TLC? What an amazing piece of art that show is. Let me start by saying, I’m pretty embarrassed that it was on for 3 episodes before I discovered it. For everyone that hasn’t seen it yet (shame on you), let me set the stage for you.

Our protagonist Kody Brown, is an advertising executive in Utah, just looking for love. His catch phrase in the opening credits is actually (and this is not a joke): “Love should be multiplied, not divided”. Wise, Kody, wise. So in an effort to “multiply” his love (shudder), Kody has 3 wives, and is currently “courting” a 4^th. They all live in one big house that is sectioned off into apartments and have about 175 children between them all, ranging in age from 18 to fetus.

There are so so so many things wrong with this… and by “this” im not talking about polygamy in general. I’m talking about Kody being able to get 4 women to marry him (or one for that matter). There are so many reasons this concerns me, but let me draw your attention to a few:

#1: Kody spells his name with a “K”. And more to the point…his name is Kody. And I don’t know about you, but there is only one “Cody” that doesn’t give me the creeps, and that, my friends, is Mr. Cody Lambert. The code-man. (side note: Dana-Burger would have been LUCKY to date Cody. I mean, sure… he lived in a van in his uncle’s driveway, and he wasn’t the smartest “dude”, but he really did have a heart of gold. Ch-yeah!)

#2: Kody has a receding hairline AND a flowing mane of hair. While that’s an impressive accomplishment, it’s also disgusting looking.

#3: Kody leaves his first 3 wives and their 97 kids to go visit his potential 4^th wife who is 4 hours away for days a time. What a catch!

#4: Kody is a creep. Plain and simple. He. Is. Creepy.

Then there are the “sister wives”. Hmmm, how can I accurately describe the sister wives? Well… they seem to wear a lot of Old Navy “performance fleece” pieces and crewneck sweat shirts. And, ya know, their polygamists. That should paint a nice picture for you. But, while poorly-dressed and strange, these gals do give one heck-of-a sales pitch for polygamy. Some of the highlights:

• Built-in-babysitters!

• Time to watch crappy shows (like sister wives) in peace since you only see your husband every third night!

• 22 people obligated to help you when you move!

• Your kids can (and do) legitimately get to use the terms: “Brother from another mother” and “Sister from the same mister” to describe one another!

In summary, thank you TLC, we doubted you could top “Little People, Big World”, but you’ve certainly done it again.

Sorry folks

Wow, this blog needs an update desperately. I almost completely gave up on it. and then I remembered that I give up everything and decided to re-commit.

To prove my point, here’s a short list of things I have given up on recently:

1. Oil painting class. Heres a riddle: whats $200, requires $500 worth of supplies I will never use again, and is full of smarmy, overly-confident “artists” who look down on the new people who are in the class mostly for the wine and cheese portion? Answer: my oil painting class. My oil painting class that was only 8 weeks long. My oil painting class that was only 8 weeks long but I still quit with 4 classes remaining after spending 4 weeks painting one bowl of fruit only so an elderly woman (WHO WASN’T EVEN IN THE CLASS) could wander in to tell me my painting has no perspective, until I gave her the evil-eye long enough that she apologized and walked away. But in my defense, the elderly woman wasn’t the only reason I quit. It was also because I couldn’t keep a straight face around the live nude in “warrior” pose.
2. Wearing makeup to work. And really, its not just makeup ive given up… its heels, brushing my hair, wearing professional clothing etc. Pretty much I’ve been coming to work dressed like a homeless person for the last 3 months.
3. The Twilight series: Special bonus points for this one cause I gave up reading these when I was 75% through the LAST book of the series. But in my defense, I wanted to give up before even starting the last book, but was convinced to read it cause Bella and Edward finally “consummate” their relationship, and im a sucker for vampire romance.
4. Paying attention when I drive. Exhibit A: the enormous dent on the side of my car. Exhibit B: my $200 ticket for driving on an HOV-only highway when I was alone in the car.
5. Diets. Exhibit A: my sweet body. Exhibit B: my clothes not fitting
6. Being a vegetarian. I became a vegetarian for about a week. I had a spell where I was obsessed with tofu and completely grossed out by meat. This spell ended promptly when I spent one Saturday drinking and eating the following:
   o Boneless buffalo wings
   o Chicken tenders
   o Sliders
   Please also consider this list further evidence for number 5 on this list.

So yeah, I’m a quitter. But in case you all think im lazy now, here is a list of things I have never, and will never give up:

Corn dogs
Full House
Celebrating Halloween for a full month
Over-withdrawing my bank account
Temporary tattoos
celebrating Home Alone “season” (ie. Thanksgiving day- day after xmas)
rolling my eyes at people
use of the phrase “in theory” when someone asks me a yes/no question.

Anyway, that was my long-winded way of saying I haven’t given up on the manilow-down and I hope I haven’t lost all 6 of my “fans”. Ill start writing more from now on, I pinky-swear.